


Tell me about your pain, and I will help you forget

by LilithFeminaPrima



Series: I will always love you [2]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Smut, But they will be okay, Comfort, Confessions of love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Heavy Angst, I'm so sorry, Lesbian Sex, Lilith begs Mary to make her forget, Lilith cries a lot, Lilith talks about her past, Mary sings Lilith to sleep, Mary tries to convince her wife she's a good person, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Mild Smut, Nightmares, True Love, a lot of tears, actually they both do, doubts, marith, so much angst tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26586115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithFeminaPrima/pseuds/LilithFeminaPrima
Summary: " Lilith and Mary were in bed, the mortal reading a book, her glasses perched on her nose. The demoness was laying with her head on her wife’s lap, tracing aimless patterns along her thighs while the teacher mindlessly played with her hair.The First Woman suddenly broke the peaceful silence.“Mary?”She hummed without looking up from her book.“Do you still love me?”Her voice was faint and laced with doubt, so it instantly caught the mortal woman’s attention.“What sort of question is that? Of course, I do. I will always love you, Lilith.” "
Relationships: Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith/Original Mary Wardwell
Series: I will always love you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933927
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Tell me about your pain, and I will help you forget

Lilith and Mary were in bed, the mortal reading a book, her glasses perched on her nose. The demoness was laying with her head on her wife’s lap, tracing aimless patterns along her thighs while the teacher mindlessly played with her hair.

The First Woman suddenly broke the peaceful silence.

“Mary?”

She hummed without looking up from her book.

“Do you still love me?”

Her voice was faint and laced with doubt, so it instantly caught the mortal woman’s attention.

“What sort of question is that? Of course, I do. I will  _ always _ love you, Lilith.”

The Queen of Hell smiled, somewhat reassured.

“It- it’s just...Lucifer made so many promises to me, ones I realised were empty. He made me believe he loved me and I- I don’t deserve you...”

A quiet sob escaped her and Mary’s heart broke, a few tears escaping her eyes.

“Of course you deserve me. You deserve all the love in the world.”

“Do I? I’m a monster...all the horrible things I’ve done, I-”

“Stop that! You’re not a monster. You were forced to do all of those things against your will, and it’s all in the past now.”

"But that's the thing...some of it was of my own volition and-"

"Like what? Tell me…"

"I'd rather not...you umm...you'd be disgusted with me."

She was still laying on her lap, not facing her, and Mary was looking down at her lovingly, her eyes shiny with emotion. 

They very rarely talked about Lilith's past, and the mortal would never push her to tell her anything, patiently waiting for her to open up to her whenever she felt comfortable enough to do so.

"I could never be disgusted with you, Lily. You know that I would never judge you either, don't you?"

"I- I suppose I do…"

"Good. Then tell me, anything you want, and I'll listen."

"I- um...well, you know after I fled the Garden, the False God sent three of his angels to convince me to come back, right?"

Mary winced slightly at the God she had worshipped for most of her life, been taught to worship since before she could even remember, being called "false". Although she had continuously questioned her faith, it wasn't until she met Lilith and learned the truth about witches that she fully stopped believing. What had He done for her anyway? She had fervently prayed to Him every night, and more so during the times she was desperate for help, for guidance. And she got nothing; no answers, no comfort. Nothing.

"I've read about that long ago, yes."

"They gave me a choice. Come back to Adam and our Creator, agreeing to submit to them, or have a hundred of my children killed every day...and you must already know which option I chose…"

"I do…"

Her wife replied faintly. It hurt so much, learning about things like this, but she wanted,  _ needed _ , to know. She wanted to know everything about her, however painful it could be.

There was a long, suspended silence before Lilith continued.

"I- it broke me, Mary...and I was  _ so angry _ . I failed as a Mother, but I simply couldn't give up my newly gained freedom I had already suffered for...So I-"

She hiccuped, suppressing the sob that threatened to escape her; the waves of guilt washing over her were overwhelming. The teacher kept soothingly stroking her hair in an effort to calm her down.

"So I started breaking into the homes of unsuspecting mortals and...and stole their babies, feasted on them, and set fire to their corpses until not even ash remained...it- it was the only way I could cope, as if I were taking revenge for...for having my children taken away from me. I caused the same pain to those families the False God had caused me. I am no better, I am-"

She broke down again, the flood of tears soaking Mary's nightdress. The mortal didn't want to overwhelm her any further, so she just patiently waited for her to calm down, drawing soft circles on her back. 

When she caught her breath, still sniffling lightly, the mortal woman said in a calm voice.

"Don't compare yourself to Him, Lilith. You are nothing like Him, and those things you did, however terrible they may be, you didn't know what else to do…And you felt guilty for those actions. A monster could never feel guilt, further proving my point. But no more, you've made yourself suffer enough."

Lilith half-smiled before erupting into sobs again. Mary was lifting a huge weight off her shoulders, taking away the burden and guilt she had felt for  _ centuries _ , and it was almost too much.

"Shh...it's okay, my love. Everything will be okay."

Moments later, Lilith relaxed, feeling a little lighter and slowly turned around on her wife's lap to look up at her, still sniffling, a few tears rolling down her cheeks, but she gave her a half-hearted smile.

“I- thank you…”

“Don’t thank me. It’s true. Everything I said.”

Mary assured, softly wiping away her tears.

The demoness reached her hand up to caress her wife’s cheek, eyes filled with love and gratitude.

“ _ I love you.” _

“ _ I love you too.” _

They both whispered, smiling at each other, and Lilith pulled her down for a kiss.

“Let’s sleep now, you look tired.”

As if on cue, Mary yawned, stretching her arms, and they both chuckled.

“Well...seems like you’re right. Come here.”

She slid down onto the mattress, placed her glasses on the nightstand and pulled her wife into her arms, holding her tightly as if to show her she would never let go. They soon fell into a dreamless sleep.

A few hours later, Mary was awoken by a whimpering Lilith, clinging to her like she was her only lifeline. The mortal woman started whispering soothing words in her ear but the witch was still shaking.

“Lilith...Lily, wake up, you’re having a nightmare…”

The demoness was startled awake, panicking and breathing heavily, her eyes blown wide with fear. She took in her surroundings and realised she was safe, so she slowly started to relax in her wife’s arms. A few tears rolled down her cheeks and the teacher was quick to wipe them away. When the witch spoke, her voice was weak, her lower lip trembling.

“Mary...It-it felt so real...it was horrible…”

The mortal woman sighed, her heart clenching with sadness and compassion.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

"I- maybe? Just- just give me a moment."

"Of course, my love. Take all the time you need."

She said calmly before pressing a soft kiss to the crown of her head.

Lilith stayed in her arms, trying to gather her thoughts, staring blankly at nothing.

"The Dark Lord…"

Mary felt shivers run down her spine and squeezed her wife's arm reassuringly, or maybe also to reassure herself.

"You know...he was kind at first, caring, loving, and I took care of him when he fell from Heaven, tended to the wounds on his back, where his wings had been ripped off...We would spend our days making love, holding each other. He promised me that if I served him faithfully…"

A few tears rolled down her cheeks but she angrily wiped them away.

"...that if I served him faithfully, he would lift me up, make me his Queen, his equal. It took me so long to realise that those were all lies...lies...it's all I've ever know, Mary...until I met you…"

Mary teared up at the words; Lilith had never been happy before her, had been betrayed and cast aside over and over again. 

She waited silently, wondering if her wife would reveal anything more.

"And then- then he changed...he morphed into this thing of darkness, this monster...it happened gradually...one day when we woke up, he had unbearable pain in his feet, and we saw that they had turned into hooves. Then the next day, when he returned, his head wasn't a man's anymore...it- it was a goat's and his voice...his voice was a snarl. I could feel that he was suffering, but he unleashed all of his anger and frustration on me. I tried to run away, but he caught me every time, and ended up chaining me to the place he fell from Heaven, right here, in Greendale.”

Mary gasped but said nothing, not wanting to interrupt her.

“He- he raped me...every day, and it hurt  _ so much,  _ made me forget what we had before. I would  _ beg  _ him to stop, but he never did, it only made him more violent, and he would strike me until I would fall unconscious. I couldn’t even tell you for how long that went on, I lost all sense of time. I- I wished I would  _ die,  _ just to get away from him and finally find peace. And I tried... _ so many times _ , but it never worked, because my Creator cursed me with immortality...I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

They were both crying at this point; Lilith because of the horrible memories, and Mary because she learned that she had been so  _ desperate  _ to escape the pain and abuse she had repeatedly attempted suicide.

“Please don’t apologise...it felt like the only way out, at the time. But I’m so thankful you are cursed with immortality, Lilith, because otherwise, I wouldn’t have you here with me…”

She almost choked on her words; imagining a life without Lilith was almost impossible, it made her heart ache.

“Shh...it’s okay, don’t cry.  _ I’m here...” _

_ “You’re here…” _

“And I’m not going anywhere.”

Mary smiled softly and started hesitantly.

“All the abuse, the violence, the…”

She had a hard time getting the word out.

“The... _ rapes... _ was- was that what your nightmare was about?”

The First Woman looked up at her, teary-eyed, and nodded softly. She almost looked  _ guilty, ashamed. _

She suddenly sat up to straddle her wife, meeting her lips in a passionate kiss. When they parted, breathless, Mary stared at her in shock before starting to ask.

“Lilith...what are you-”

“ _ Make love to me, Mary. Make me forget… _ ”

“B-but you…”

“ _ Please…” _

She whispered before kissing her desperately, and the other woman nodded; she couldn’t deny her.

The mortal helped her off her lap, gently pushing her down to lay back on the bed. She moved to kneel between her legs, who parted of their own volition. She then slowly pushed up the demoness’ silk nightdress over her hips, before pulling down her thin panties. 

Lilith sighed and shivered when the cold air of the room hit her hot centre.

Mary laid down on her stomach, inhaling the intoxicating scent of her wife’s arousal, running her fingertips up and down her thighs and scratching lightly. Lilith shuddered and whined at the touch, already impatient, wanting to erase her memories.

The teacher lightly licked up her length, looking up at her and meeting her eyes. It felt  _ special _ , as if this moment meant more than anything to both of them.

“ _ Please, don’t tease me...I can’t take it...not tonight…” _

She whispered breathlessly, a pleading look in her eyes.

“I won’t. I’ll give you everything you need, and so much more…”

She echoed Lilith’s words to her from their first time, months ago, and it made the witch tear up.

Mary latched onto her clit, sucking and circling it with her tongue, and the demoness cried out in pleasure. She kept at it for a while before swiftly entering her with two fingers, and Lilith groaned. She thrust in and out of her steadily, licked her until she was panting, chasing her climax. The mortal raised her head and spoke softly, making the witch whine at the loss of her mouth on her.

“ _ Look at me. I love you...Come for me.” _

Lilith tightened around her fingers, clit twitching, and she came with her wife’s name on her lips.

_ “Thank you- thank you...I love you, Mary. I love you so much...I love you, I love you...” _

She repeated the words like a mantra, like a prayer, breathless, her eyes fluttering shut. She hadn’t realised she was crying until Mary crawled up her body and wiped her tears away, placing soft kisses all over her face.

“Shhh...it’s okay, I’ve got you.  _ I’ve got you. _ ”

Lilith wrapped her arms around her, pulling her as close as possible against her chest, burying her face in her neck and letting the tears fall freely.

They stayed that way for an undefined amount of time, until the two women’s breathing started to slow down. 

Mary carefully rolled off of her, and the demoness instantly clung to her, holding her tightly. The mortal woman started softly humming a lullaby, and Lilith soon fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep.


End file.
